“If anything happens to us, we want the children to know exactly what to do.”
That’s what one couple told me – the owner of Beaulieu Wills and Estate Planning – when they came to write their Wills shortly after becoming parents. They were young, healthy, and had every expectation of watching their children grow up. But they also understood something profound: planning for the worst-case scenario isn’t morbid – it’s one of the most loving things you can do.
Their story stayed with me because it demonstrates what good planning actually looks like when you think beyond just “who gets what.”
First Things First: Who Looks After the Children?
Their immediate priority was appointing guardians. Without a Will, if both parents die, children under 18 automatically go into temporary local authority care while the courts sort out who should look after them. Even if grandparents or siblings want to step in, there’s a process, delays, and uncertainty at the worst possible time.
By naming guardians in their Wills, this couple ensured their children would immediately go to people they knew, trusted, and who understood their values. They’d had the difficult but important conversation with the guardians beforehand, making sure everyone was comfortable with the arrangement.
It’s not a comfortable topic to discuss, I’ll grant you. But it’s infinitely better than leaving that decision to chance.
The People Who Sort Everything Out
Next came appointing executors – the people responsible for handling the estate, managing finances, and making sure everything gets done properly. Many people underestimate how important this choice is.
Being an executor isn’t just about distributing money. It’s about dealing with banks, closing accounts, filing tax returns, selling property if needed, and handling dozens of administrative tasks while everyone around you is grieving. Choosing reliable, organised people who can handle pressure makes an enormous difference.
This couple chose family members they trusted, but also named me as a professional executor as a backup. That gave them peace of mind that if their first choices couldn’t serve, or needed expert help, someone would be there to step in.
The Details That Prevent Family Disputes
Then we got into the specifics that many people overlook – and that cause the most arguments after someone dies.
Funeral arrangements: They specified the type of service they wanted, the music, even whether they preferred burial or cremation. They’d also prepaid for their funerals, removing any financial pressure from their families.
I know this sounds sombre, but I’ve seen the alternative. I’ve watched families torn apart trying to guess what Mum would have wanted, or arguing about whether to spend £3,000 or £8,000 on a casket when everyone’s emotions are raw and money is tight.
Sentimental items: This is where families fracture more often than you’d think. It’s rarely about the monetary value – it’s about Mum’s engagement ring, Dad’s watch, or the painting that hung in the hallway for forty years.
This couple made clear decisions about meaningful possessions. Who gets the jewellery. Who receives the photographs. Who should have the family heirlooms. Small decisions that prevent enormous hurt.
Charitable gifts: They included a donation to the local hospice that had cared for her father. It was their way of saying thank you and creating something positive even in death.
Oh, and they even arranged a home for Spot, their dog, if needed. (Yes, you can include pets in your planning. And yes, it matters.)
The Roadmap Nobody Talks About
Finally, they wrote Letters of Wishes alongside their Wills. These aren’t legally binding documents, but they’re incredibly practical.
A Letter of Wishes is essentially a user manual for your life. It tells your executors and family where important documents are kept, who to contact, what accounts exist, and what your children need to know. In the chaos that follows a death – when people can barely remember to eat, let alone track down insurance policies – having this roadmap is invaluable.
This couple included everything from passwords for online accounts to the names of their financial advisors. They wrote personal messages to their children, to be opened when they were older. They explained why they’d made certain decisions, which provides comfort and context that a legal document can’t.
What It’s Really About
Planning for death isn’t about giving up on life. It’s not pessimistic or morbid. It’s about profound love and responsibility.
It’s about looking at the people who matter most and saying: “If I can’t be there, at least I can make this easier for you. At least I can leave you with clarity instead of questions.”
That couple left my office with their Wills in place, their children protected, and genuine peace of mind. They could get back to the business of living, knowing that if the unthinkable happened, they’d done everything possible to look after the people they loved.
That’s not preparing for death. That’s living responsibly.
For help creating your will or reviewing your existing arrangements:
01277 562 567 | ian.nicholson@bwep.uk | www.bwep.uk
Until next month you lovely bunch, please stay safe. And remember, don’t wait, protect your estate!